In many communities—especially among people of African descent—therapy is often seen as unnecessary, indulgent, or even shameful. “Why talk to a stranger when you have family?” “Just pray about it.” “Be strong.” These words echo through our culture, reinforcing the dangerous myth that seeking grief therapy is a sign of weakness. So, let’s address the elephant in the room: Is seeking grief therapy a sign of weakness or strength?

Grief is a lonely road. It is the pain that reshapes you, leaving behind pieces of the person you once were. I know this road all too well—I have walked it more times than I ever imagined possible. Losing my husband just 22 months after marriage shattered me. Then came the loss of my sister. before these were my father and my mother-in-law. Each loss felt like a fresh wound, reopening the pain I thought I had begun to heal from. And so what did I do? I sought therapy. I did not try to navigate grief alone and, guess what? It helped get me to where I am today.

Research overwhelmingly supports the benefits of grief therapy. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), prolonged or complicated grief can lead to severe mental health conditions, including depression, anxiety, and even PTSD. Therapy provides a structured space to process loss in a way that prevents long-term emotional damage. Yet, the stigma persists. A 2022 study published in the Journal of Counseling Psychology found that people who viewed therapy as a weakness were significantly less likely to seek help—even when they were struggling deeply. This mindset is particularly prevalent in cultures that glorify emotional endurance over emotional healing. But what many don’t realize is it takes far more strength to acknowledge your pain and seek help than it does to suppress it.

What Happens When You ‘Stay Strong’ Instead of Seeking Help?
Many people believe that “being strong” means carrying grief silently. They tough it out, keeping their pain bottled up until it manifests in unhealthy ways:
Chronic Stress & Anxiety: Unprocessed grief keeps the nervous system in a heightened state, leading to physical and mental exhaustion.
Physical Health Decline: Studies from the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) show that unresolved grief can increase the risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, and immune dysfunction.
Emotional Numbness or Explosiveness: Suppressed grief often results in either emotional shutdown or outbursts of anger, frustration, or even self-sabotage.
Difficulty Maintaining Relationships: When grief is unprocessed, it creates emotional barriers that make it harder to connect with loved ones.
Simply put, ignoring grief does not make it go away—it only buries it deeper, where it festers and grows.

Therapy is Not Just for ‘Broken’ People
One of the biggest misconceptions about therapy is that it’s only for those who are on the brink of a breakdown. This could not be further from the truth. Therapy is a proactive choice, not a last resort. Think of it this way: You wouldn’t wait for a small infection to turn into a life-threatening disease before seeking medical help. Why, then, should grief be treated differently? Therapy helps by:
– Providing coping tools tailored to your unique grief experience
– Offering a safe space to express emotions without judgment
– Identifying patterns that may be delaying your healing
– Helping you find meaning after loss
And no, therapy doesn’t erase the pain—but it teaches you how to carry it differently.

Faith, Community, and Therapy: Can They Coexist?
For those who believe prayer and faith should be enough, let’s be clear: Seeking therapy does not mean abandoning spiritual or communal support. In fact, therapy can complement your faith by helping you process emotions in a way that aligns with your beliefs. The same applies to those who turn to family and friends for support. While loved ones are essential in the healing process, they are not trained professionals. A therapist offers an objective, structured approach that friends and family simply cannot provide. Seeking therapy does not mean you lack faith. It does not mean you are weak. It means you are courageous enough to acknowledge that grief is bigger than you—and wise enough to seek the tools to navigate it.

The Real Weakness: Pretending You’re Okay
The real weakness is not in seeking therapy. The real weakness is in pretending you don’t need it when you do. If you’re grieving and struggling to cope, permit yourself to seek help. Therapy is not about erasing grief—it’s about learning to live with it in a way that honours both your pain and your future. You do not have to walk this journey alone. Strength is not in suffering silently. Strength is in choosing to heal.

Have you ever struggled with the decision to seek therapy? Do you believe therapy is necessary for grief? Speak with Coach Uddy. Let’s break the stigma together.